butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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