just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
