the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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