i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
