we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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