Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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