can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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