wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I had to cum in my sink.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
