She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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