i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
