I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
