well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
