U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
