Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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