but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
