your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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