You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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