Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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