But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize