He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
