we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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