there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
