i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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