Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
