apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
