i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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