; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
