Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Bring me that man meat
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
