halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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