I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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