i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
