so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
