it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize