and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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