I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
