She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
