its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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