the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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