No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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