Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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