If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
someone threw a dead crab at me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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