I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize