I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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