I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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