I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize