we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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