I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
