no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
