Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
