is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
