Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Life is so much better after having sex.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
