So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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