So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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