He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize