I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
