Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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