Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
