They should really pass out barf bags in church
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
