you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize