I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
